Award-winning Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has opened up about a lengthy and difficult battle with depression, a period she admitted left her “deeply unhappy” for years and almost extinguished her love for writing fiction.
In an interview with CNN Africa, the celebrated novelist spoke frankly about the shadow cast by her mental health struggles. “I was fighting depression. In that period, just deeply unhappy. Deeply unhappy. And there are ways to try and hide your unhappiness, but you know, it’s there. It’s a constant sort of shadow with you. And it’s not a good place to be,” Adichie stated.
The Inability to Write Fiction
Adichie explained that one of the most painful aspects of this challenging season was the creative block it imposed, specifically her inability to write fiction. For an author whose life is defined by storytelling, this felt like a terrible loss.
“So in the years that I couldn’t write — and really not being able to write fiction when fiction is a thing that you deeply love — it’s just a terrible place to be,” she added.
To cope with the inability to write, Adichie employed various distractions, including public speeches, intense reading, and engaging with poetry. However, she found that these activities only offered temporary relief, saying, “I said yes to many more things than I ordinarily would because I just thought the writing is not happening… but then I’d come back and be miserable.”
Patience and the Spiritual Nature of Creativity
Adichie credited poetry and re-reading her favorite books with helping her reconnect with language and creativity. Ultimately, she concluded that much of the healing required acceptance and patience. “In the end, it’s just about waiting and hoping. You’re not in control of this thing,” she noted.
She views her inspiration and creativity as spiritual, describing it as being like voices from “ancestors and spirits” speaking to her.
The author expressed immense joy and gratitude over the completion of her latest novel, Dream Count, viewing the book’s release as a symbol of her triumph over the dark chapter of depression. “I’m very happy to be running around and singing and dancing for this novel because it means a lot to me. I’m grateful that I finished it, finally. I’m grateful that it’s out. I’m grateful that it’s found its readers,” she concluded.
Source: CNN Africa
