By Alpha Amadu Jalloh
Fatherhood has been buried alive, and with it society itself is breaking apart. In today’s world, man has been dragged so low that his role in the life of his own children is treated as nothing. The very pillar of the home is mocked, dismissed, and disrespected, while the entire weight of family survival still rests squarely on his shoulders. It is as though the father is merely a visitor in his own house, welcome only when he brings money, yet unworthy of love, respect, or acknowledgment. This is not just neglect. This is betrayal. And it is the reason our families and nations are falling apart.
I write today to remind society of a truth it has chosen to forget: the father is not optional. He is not a spare wheel. He is the very pillar on which the family rests. Without him, the entire structure trembles and collapses. Yet modern culture, poisoned by arrogance and selfishness, now celebrates mothers as if they alone carry the weight of parenthood.
Yes, mothers are important. No one can deny their sacrifice. But let us face reality: a child does not exist without the father’s seed. It is the man who plants the beginning of life. And it is the man who shoulders the heaviest responsibility afterwards, feeding, protecting, sheltering, paying fees, paying rent, and carrying the burdens of life so his family may breathe.
Look at nature. In the animal kingdom, the he-goat does nothing. When the she-goat gives birth, the he-goat disappears. He does not feed, he does not protect, he does not provide shelter. But in the human kingdom, ordained by Almighty God as the best of creation, the father is commanded to step forward. He cannot vanish. He must provide. He must stand in the cold, sweat in the sun, and struggle with life’s storms for the sake of his children.
And yet what does society do? It praises the mother when the child succeeds, and blames the father when the child fails. It celebrates women for being mothers, but treats men as though they are disposable. It mocks fatherhood, even inside the home. A man pays school fees, pays rent, and makes sacrifices that break his bones, but he is disrespected at the very dinner table he provides.
This is not just unfair. It is cruel. It is wicked. It is a slap in the face of God’s design.
When women lose respect for men, the home becomes a battlefield. Submission has been twisted to sound like slavery. Respect has been misrepresented as oppression. But true submission is not slavery. It is honor. It is recognition of the divine order that keeps the home from falling apart.
| “And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.” (Qur’an 2:228)
When a father is respected, he will walk through fire for his family. When he is dishonored, he withdraws. And when he withdraws, the children are the ones who suffer. This is why we now see broken homes everywhere, children raised without fathers, boys who grow up weak and angry, girls who grow up without guidance and repeat the same cycle of disrespect.
Let us stop lying to ourselves. No matter how much money a woman earns, no matter how much independence she claims, the natural order cannot be rewritten. God gave man ownership of responsibility in the home. Ownership here does not mean possession of wife or child like property. It means accountability. The father owns the burden. He owns the sleepless nights. He owns the duty to protect, to provide, to guide. He will stand before God to answer for his family.
| “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means.” (Qur’an 4:34)
But today, men are stripped of their honor. The modern home humiliates the very man who carries its weight. What message does this send to our children? Sons grow up ashamed of fatherhood, while daughters grow up believing men are useless. And then we wonder why our societies are collapsing.
We must wake up. We must restore honor to fathers. We must teach women that respect is not a favor to a man. It is a duty to God. We must remind children that their father is not just a wallet, but the foundation of their lives. And we must tell men themselves: do not run from your responsibility. Do not become the he-goat that abandons its young. Stand firm. Own your role.
| “And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.” (Qur’an 31:14)
| “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], ‘uff,’ and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” (Qur’an 17:23)
Without fathers, families disintegrate. Without respect for fathers, homes become prisons. And without honoring God’s order, nations themselves crumble.
Father’s ownership is not about pride. It is not about control. It is about sacred duty, the invisible weight that men carry so that the family can stand. Until society returns to this truth, we will continue to bury our values and raise children in brokenness.
When fatherhood is buried, society is condemned to break. When the father is silenced, the home collapses. When his honor is trampled, the children grow lost and confused. There is no future without fathers. Only by restoring fatherhood to its rightful place can we heal our families, rescue our children, and save our nation from destruction.